While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
