so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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