jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
