lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
