guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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