He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize