remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
