i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize