hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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