I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
