"it" just moved
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize