There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
