I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
