The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
