She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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