BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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