you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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