In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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