hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
