Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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