I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize