You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
