He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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