Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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