How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
