In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
