She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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