didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
