How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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