love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
