Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize