just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
