i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i think my cat just said my name.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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