for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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