She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just tell him i said nine months
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
