he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
