I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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