He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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