If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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