So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she told me i tasted like america
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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