so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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