you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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