so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
