i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I will be naked everywhere
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
