is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
