She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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