this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
