Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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