So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize