Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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