Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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