i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
