I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
