Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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