make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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