you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
