i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
