ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
