I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
