You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
