just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
this will be a night to untag.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
