absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
