soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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