so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
