love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
