I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
