I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
