if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
