Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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