I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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