I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Ā¯ and "Why tacos?"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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