why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i out mim tonsoeep
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