I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
