At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
