ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
