I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
